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Diary of a Madman

Diary of a Madman – August 20th

**Author’s notes: This is the tenth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

August 20th

Dear Diary,

I’ve been watching the old lady down the hall. This kill is going to be easy. From what I can see out of the corner of my peephole, she leaves everyday at around 8:30 in the morning to get the newspaper and a coffee. Around lunch time she leaves the door open to her apartment till about 8 in the afternoon. She leaves it open for ventilation while she cooks and to air out her apartment.

She takes her smoke breaks around 1, 5, and 8.

I didn’t notice this earlier but Vanessa left me some messages on my answering machine. She mentioned that she will be away for a couple days and, get this Diary, she misses me. So overall, a good day. Tomorrow, will be even better.

The hunger

scares me.

Messages on Todd’s Answering Machine

You have 5 unheard messages.

First message.

Todd, it’s me Vanessa. I haven’t talked to you since Wednesday. I thought you were back in town by now. I hope you’re not avoiding me. Anyways, call me or stop by. I know this may sound weird but I feel lonely when you’re gone. Anyways, call me.

Second message

Mr. Casil, this is Tony, from Frontier Publications. I don’t know how to tell you this but we decided not to go ahead with To My Enemies. What you sent, well… It isn’t what we are looking for. It’s… Look it’s too depressing. A lot of this seems like dribble and crying. I talked to your agent William and we are discussing an alternative to fulfill your contract. William will get together later with you on this. Thanks.

Third message

Todd, buddy old pal. It’s me William. I got out of a meeting with Frontier Publications and looks like they are pulling the plug on your book. But the jokes on them. If they don’t put it out they still have to pay you. You won’t get any percentage from sales but they have to pay you the full bonuses for writing the book. So keep writing. I’ll see if I can find another publisher.

Fourth message

Todd, it’s me Vanessa. I’m leaving out of town for a class trip this weekend. I won’t be back till Monday morning. By the way, I loved your book To Sarah. It’s very beautiful. Whatever happened to her? Anyways, I’ll call you when I get back.

Fifth message



Diary of a Madman – August 17th

**Author’s notes: This is the ninth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

August 17th

Diary, I am writing from my childhood bedroom. I found the letter. I found all of them. How can she be dead and still be able to send me all these letters?

She’s alive and I need to find her. I plan on heading back to my apartment tomorrow morning to pack up and get a flight ready.

I called Vanessa from my house phone. Vanessa was happy to hear from me and I was also happy to hear her voice. I felt so nervous to even call her. I felt my stomach get queasy before I even dialed her number. I’m glad I did. The sound of her voice made me forget about everything. We talked for about an hour and she asked me to meet her friends. Our relationship is growing pretty fast. I’m not sure how I can juggle two relationships. I have one with a loving angel and the other with a murderous hunger.

The hunger swims in circles in the back of my stomach. It’s like a hungry shark contained in a huge fish tank swimming constantly in circles.


August 18th

Dear Diary,

The old lady down the hall has green eyes.

Green eyes.


The hunger.


It feeds off of green eyes.


August 19th

Dear Diary,

I don’t know what got into me yesterday. I can barely read what I wrote yesterday. I felt terrified the whole afternoon. Now I finally have a grip on things.

I need to tell you what happened. I got home and I placed my stuff down on the table. Then everything toppled onto the floor and that’s when I noticed it. The notes and letters that lay on the floor has the same hand writing. I felt so scared my body trembled. I made some tea and tried to calm down.

I felt horrible. I felt like my world was ending because I knew that there was more to all this. I reached into my bag and found an old book of mine I brought from home. It was James Thurber’s 13 Clocks. I opened it up and in the margin where I wrote my name when I was thirteen, was the same writing as the notes and letters. I walked down the stairs in a mindless stupor to check my mail. Nothing, it was empty. I walked back upstairs and I saw the old lady. Her eyes are green.

I must kill her next.


The hunger burns like acid. I think I’m going to be sick.

Diary of a Madman – August 16th

**Author’s notes: This is the ninth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

June 20, 1979

To anyone who reads this,

I am lost in the woods. Todd attacked me and if I don’t make it out of here alive then he has also killed me.

He’s crazy. We woke up in the middle of the night and I heard a wolf howl. It scared me. I told Todd that I was scared and we need to go home; but he wouldn’t listen. The howling got louder and I started to cry. He looked into my eyes and I told him, ‘I want to go home. I want to be with my family.’ He snapped, I saw it in his eyes.

He hit me over the head with a rock. I’m bleeding and I am getting a bit dizzy. I just want to you to know that I love you mom. I love you too, dad and I am sorry.

August 16th

Dear Diary,

I spent the whole day writing. I tried to get those notes out of my head. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Then… someone knocked on the door. I assumed it was Vanessa. I just sat there typing away. I closed the blinds and stayed in my robe. I keep thinking about how I knew it was me who wrote those notes. It didn’t even look like my handwriting and I don’t remember writing any of it. Maybe Sarah is dead. Maybe I did kill her, but why don’t I remember?

No. I received a letter from her when I was in college. I need to find it. I’m going tomorrow to my parent’s house. I need to find it.

By the way, my novel is coming along, but so is the hunger.

August 17th

Dear Diary,

I had a horrible dream last night. I was standing on the street in front of my house. I was in my childhood pajamas but I wasn’t a boy. I was a grown man. The only light in the sky came from the moon and its many stars. I slowly walked over the dew covered grass and towards the garage. I remember the garage door disappearing in thin air as I approached it.
Inside the empty garage floor was a lone cardboard box. On the side written in a black marker was the name “Sarah”. I opened it and inside was her head. It appeared to have been bludgeoned. Her face was barely recognizable.

There was also a book in there as well. It was her Diary. As I reached for it, the garage seemed to turn into a dark forest. I was back in the woods. Her Diary was in my hands. I opened it and bellowing cloud of air and fear flew into my face. I woke up screaming and terrified. At that point I didn’t want to go back home; but I have to. I wrote this entry while the dream was still fresh in my mind. I will write more tonight when I get back home.

Nest: here

Diary of a Madman – August 14th

**Author’s notes: This is the eighth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

An obituary from the Liberation Times:

Julie Stone, 26, died August 12th 1988.

Julie was born on January 8th in 1962 and attended Memorial High School where she received her High School Diploma. She excelled as an artist and had plans to attend the Liberation Community College early next year.

She is survived by her aunt, Crystal Birmingham. A small service will be provided at Liddell’s Funeral Home.

August 14th

Dear Diary,

I walked over to Vanessa’s apartment and knocked on her door. I asked her to lunch and guess what? She said yes. And then, you won’t believe this, we went to watch a movie afterwards.

I feel so much better after the other night. It’s like the hunger is almost gone. Of course it won’t be gone for long but at least I won’t pass out anymore. That note I got in the mail was a bit creepy. But I’m in control, not him.

So I knocked out more of my book in the morning and spent time with Vanessa. What a perfect day, Diary. We get along very well and I can tell that she likes me. The way she looks at me, the way she smiles at me, they way she touches me; I think I’m in love.

The hunger is fast asleep, at least for now.

August 15

Dear Diary,

I woke up thinking of her. I feel almost like a new man. The hunger that dwells deep inside seems to be asleep, snoring quietly.

I opened the blinds to my apartment and I let all the sunshine in. For a moment the sun blinded me but slowly the sun retreated behind some clouds. I then heard a slight knock on the door. It mustn’t have been more than 10 o’ clock in the morning; but she was there with a tray in her hand.

I let her in and we spent the whole day together on my couch. She thumbed through some of my books and even borrowed a couple. To Sarah was included in her stack. She left a little before the sun went down and I actually wrote more in my new book.

Today seemed like a very productive day, I even cleaned up a bit and that’s when I found a crumpled note. It was another page torn out of you. I never felt scared as I held it in my hand. I felt horrible. It’s a lie; a total and indisputable lie. He is just trying to trick me. He’s a liar.

The hunger is still sleep. Thank god.

From a torn page of Todd Casil’s Diary:

Sarah’s dead. I killed her.

Next: here

Diary of a Madman – August 12th

**Author’s notes: This is the seventh piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

August 12th



I can feel it calling.

I drove by Julie’s house and noticed a suspicious car parked across the street. I knew for a fact that the Martin’s didn’t own a similar car. They owned a ’76 Silverado.

So I kept driving and I found a nice hidden place to park and then I walked.

I was desperate. I could not keep the cops from stopping me tonight. She needed to die tonight, Diary. I wasn’t prepared to use my backup plan but I had no other choice. I walked through a 10 acre yard in the moonlight carrying a filled gas can. The grass was wet and I was leaving footprints. It didn’t matter, she has to die.

I broke in through the back door and crept in. The living room window was wide open. It left a perfect view of the staircase leading up to the bedroom on the second floor. The cop outside should be able to see anyone enter her bedroom.

It didn’t matter. I poured gasoline throughout the back of the house and lit a match.

I ran, and I ran, until I passed out.

I don’t know how long I was out. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes. I tasted the wet grass and felt the mud on my face.

I got up and ran. The house was fully lit. Huge clouds flew over my head. I got to my car and got out of there fast. I was coughing and my head pounded but I got away.

I’m tired. Goodnight Diary.

August 13th

Dear Diary,

I woke up exhausted. My whole body hurts but my face hurts the most. I looked in the mirror and I noticed I have a slight bruise on my cheek. I looked a little banged up.

After a quick soothing bath, I made a trip downstairs for the mail. I got this very disturbing piece of mail. It was from me. It was written on a piece of you, Diary.

I read the newspaper and watched the news. Turns out the fire destroyed the house. The media was tearing a new one into the police. They claimed they could have done more to save young Julie. They don’t understand how something like this could happen with police parked outside.

I stole her work name tag on the way out. I decided to toss it out along with all the other pieces I stole, except you, Diary. It’s not worth the risk. These little mementos are just going to get me caught and we can’t have that.

From a torn page of Todd Casil’s Diary

I don’t mean to get you caught. I plan on killing you. I plan on killing us.

Nest: here

Diary of a Madman – August 11th

**Author’s notes: This is the sixth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

August 11th,

Dear Diary,

I thought today was a dream. It started when I went down to check the mail. It was just more bills and junk mail; no mail from Sarah. I was a bit depressed till I saw Vanessa. She was coming in with some groceries and needed some help. I grabbed the door for her, like a gentleman, and helped her out.

After I carried her groceries we had a little talk in her little kitchen. I got her talking about things other than boyfriends, the party and or anything else that would make her upset. It worked.

She had a bottle of whiskey in one of the bags and the next thing I know we were laughing and having a good time. She even said, “She hasn’t met such a funny and nice guy like me.”

The whole time I was plotting about how I was going to kill Julie.

June 19, 1979

Dear Diary,

I have horrible news. My mother told me that we are leaving to Boston. I told Todd today and he was speechless. He loves me so much; I could see it in his eyes.

Anyways, I’m just so scared and I just can’t stop crying. My parents continue to argue. My mother tries to whisper but my father could care less. It just makes the situation worse.

Sorry, to leave you like that Diary. Todd and I are in the woods. We are running away. I’m scared but I’m also happy. I’m glad to be in Todd’s arms underneath the beautiful moonlight. It’s very romantic. I just don’t know what we’ll do tomorrow. I just wish we could run away forever.

August 12th

Dear Diary,

I blanked out again, but this time it was only for a short time. He was up again. If I don’t kill Julie soon, he’ll be back. I thought I had him under control, but killing T has just made everything worse.

Tonight I will simply break into her house and kill her. I am getting desperate and my time is running out. I will write more later.

Next: here

Diary of a Madman – August 9th

**Author’s notes: This is the fifth piece, the first is found here

You can find the complete, professionally edited and extended book here along with two short stories for $2.99.**

August 9th

Dear Diary,

That woman down the hall was staring at me again. She just stands there staring. When will she stop? I can feel her eyes following me down the hall. Her eyes burned tiny holes into my back.

Diary, today was just exhausting. Julie is such a simple girl. She works at a local clothing store as a sales clerk. She is beautiful girl but hides it behind unflattering clothes and thick glasses. She lives outside the city in an old house. By the looks of things she may have inherited it from her parents. I will check more into that tomorrow. At the store I wandered near the staff back room and on a cork board, plainly visible for anyone to see, was her shift hours. This is way too easy.

She drives a small compact car. Typical. She had about twenty or so empty soda bottles litter the passenger side seat and floor. So she obviously doesn’t give many people a ride. Therefore, she probably doesn’t have many friends. Perfect.

This one feels a little too easy. But that’s okay. I got back early and got another horrible piece to my new book done. I’m so close to just starting over.

Anyways, Diary, Vanessa’s back. I heard her crying as I walked up to the apartment. I don’t see why? T was a loser anyways. She is definitely better without him.

The hunger needs it,
The hunger wants it,
The hunger will get its satisfaction.
It always has.

Page 39 from the novel To My Enemies by T.Casil

Do you remember me? I’m sure you don’t.

Those thick rimmed glasses, the ones I fixed with tape after your boyfriend stomped on them, were replaced with contacts.

I fixed my crooked teeth. The same teeth that kept me from smiling because I was afraid you would think I was ugly.

I no longer have the long hair you use to touch and say, “Why do guys always have nicer hair?”.

My large clothes my mother bought at the thrift store, are now gone and replaced with a two closets full of clothes.

I workout four times a week for the last three years. I still remember when you use to laugh at me when you saw how skinny I was during fifth period gym.

I thought I was in love with you. I learned that it wasn’t love, it was just an unhealthy infatuation.

I have never felt better in my life. I eat healthy, I work out and I surround myself with positive people.

I am not angry with you nor do I despise you. I just want to thank you for making me who I am. Thank you.

He wrote all this on his screen before slowly deleting the message from his computer completely. Who is he kidding?

August 10th

Dear Diary,

The son of a bitch set me up. What the hell. I don’t even know how he did it.

One minute I’m at the library looking at some micro-fiche and the next, I’m being escorted out by police. They searched my car and they had me cuffed, waiting in the back of their patrol car.

I was so scared. I nearly peed all over the back of the cruiser. But before that happened they let me go.

They never said what they were looking for; but I knew. They were looking for the knife he stashed in the car. The same knife with T’s blood. I saw it this morning under my seat, he stashed it there. As soon as I saw it I got rid of it. Lucky? No, I knew it would turn up. He is getting smarter but he’s not as smart as me. What if he hid something else too? The idea terrified me.

The hunger disappeared today. It will be back tomorrow, worse than ever.

Next: here